The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
