thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
