if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
