She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I want to be your penis for a week.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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