Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
