So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
