Porn is love you can see.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
