I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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