She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
