1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
