What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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