So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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