the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
