I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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