I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
