I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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