My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
