Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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