Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
