Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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