I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
