i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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