How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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