yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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