what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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