fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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