1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
