Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
