I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
