Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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