She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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