And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
