I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
