Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
