woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
