were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Semen is not good for contacts.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
