if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
