his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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