so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
