Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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