At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
