Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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