I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
