I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
