i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do vagina's smell?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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