Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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