Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
