you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
