Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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