just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
