I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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