The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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