News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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