Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
