Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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