In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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