I love black thongs
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize