What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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