sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
