I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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