My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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