Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
