Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
