His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
