He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
