Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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